I think that is what I keep coming back to in my own mind, and is very reminiscent of my experiences as a paladin...people LOVE to tell buffing classes how to play because what you do affects them directly. Back then, if you were a rogue, you didn't get Might unless our tanks were fantastic and better geared than everyone else (and the rogues weren't stupid about aggro)...no, you got Salvation to keep you alive longer The people didn't like it at first, but the results spoke for themselves...rogues stayed up longer, dealt more damage overall, and could push harder because they didn't have to feint as often or scale back on their attack timing quite as much. Aggro mitigation is expencive compared to pre-applied buffs, both in terms of GCD and energy/mana/rage use, so in any discussion about this type of thing, those factors MUST be considered.
In the end, it boils down to "big picture" thinking vs. "me" thinking (in a non-offencive way). If I only care about maximising my personal damage, of course I would want to advocate that any external factors work in my favour....and who doesn't like to see big numbers in their combat logs? But, from a bigger picture standpoint (and we'll focus on rogues for a second here, but the logic applies to other classes as well), the proper totem or buff selection may end up being different when you take the math and factor in DPE (damage per energy used...yeah, I'm making up new acronyms) and healing required. In some cases, it may very well be simple and support traditional thinking (e.g. WF being the default), but I suspect that would only really apply to a minority of encounters post-BC.
Brutal honesty, if any arguments ensue about buffing selection in a raid, my long-standing rule is this: if the person vehemently telling me how to play/buff does not have every elixir/flask possible up and every one of the best enchants on the best gear available to them to that point, then they aren't doing their part to maximise their own damage BEFORE my buff is applied...and I evaluate it all from that perspective. Yeah, it's not the nicest way to look at things, but things like enchants and elixirs do far more than a totem would on its own. Buffs are and always have been a way to make encounters easier...they are not required for any of them (insert obvious lack of fear ward reference here).