Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate

[Devin Ashley]

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh ######!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Damn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from eight to 6 feet Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down you "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

[Eisaac]

This is so funny I had to put some of "mine"

Answering Machine ideas:

1.This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

2. (Annoying flute music in background:) Good day, Agent 83.2. Your contact, Agent 33.5, is not available right now. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a brief message at the tone. This tape will self-destruct in thirty seconds. Good Luck, Agent 83.2.

3. (Imitating Mr. Rogers:) Hello. I'm in the Neighborhood of Make Believe right now, so I can't come to the phone. Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone? Sure... I knew you could.

4. (In a bored voice:) Heaven, God speaking...

5. This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious".

6. Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Smiley's not here right now, but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. And remember, confession doesn't count unless you confess all of your sins in vivid, graphic detail!

7. You have reached the Potato chapter of the Idaho Procrastination Society. Please leave a message after the tone and we'll get around to it...

8. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

9. (Demented, screechy voice; occasional background screams:) Hello. Thank you for calling Last Straw Chiropractic. (Raspy gasp.) We can't come to the phone right now because we're making a couple of adjustments. (Break a few small twigs; big scream.) Please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as it is humanly possible. Thank you very much.

10. This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.

[Devin Ashley]

hehe them are to funny

[Corellon]

These are not tears of sadness and my sides do not hurt from sickness. Good one's!!!