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Sith Lord Attacks Customers in Toys "R" Us


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A 33-year-old man faces charges after giving into the dark side in his local Toys "R" Us.

Police were called to the Toys "R" Us store in Hayden Island, Portland, last Thursday, after a witness reported one David Allen Canterbury was attacking customers with "Star Wars"-style weapons. According to a Portland Police spokesman, by the time officers arrived on the scene Darth Canterbury had exited the store, a blue toy-lightsaber in each hand.

Officers attempted to arrest Canterbury in the store car-park, but he kept on trying to hit them with his lightsabers. Two of them foolishly tried to taze the crazed Sith Lord; one tazer failed to fire and Canterbury used one of his lightsabers to deflect the second. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age, indeed.

Eventually, the police managed to wrestle Canterbury to the ground and arrest him, before shipping him off to a nearby hospital for a mental evaluation. He'll likely face charges of disorderly conduct, theft, assault, resisting arrest and interfering with a police officer.

Thankfully, none of the people Canterbury attacked needed medical attention.

Read the full article here

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