whiterabbit Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 (edited) Hang on to your rebel butts for the yankees are a coming boys!!!! Iwill be invading tomorrow evening and rusty will be renforcing Thur.WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO Edited April 20, 2004 by whiterabbit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Logan Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 yeah when you get here, i'll tell you what a yankee and a hemm.....hrmmm better save that till your here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akroma Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Keep the South beautiful, ..... Put a Yankee on a bus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 (edited) 2000 Federal Census for North Carolina Last name: ________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack What does everyone call you? (_) Booger (_) Bubba (_) Junior (_) Sissy (_) Other___________________ Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (Check appropriate box) (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Unemployed (_) Dirty Politician (_) Preacher Spouse's Name:_________________________ 2nd Spouse's Name:_____________________ 3rd Spouse's Name:_____________________ Lover's Name:__________________________ Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box) (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet Number of children living in household: _____ Number of children living in shed: ______ Number that are yours: ______ Mother's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) Total number of vehicles you own: ___ Number of vehicles that still crank: ___ Number of vehicles in front yard: ___ Number of vehicles in back yard: ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___ Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ kitchen ____ shed Model and year of your pickup: 196___ Do you have a gun rack? (_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain: Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_) The National Enquirer (_) The Globe (_) TV Guide (_) Soap Opera Digest (_) Rifle and Shotgun Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____ Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____ How often do you bathe: (_) Weekly (_) Monthly (_) Not Applicable Color of eyes: Left______ Right_____ Color of hair: (_) Blond (_) Black (_) Red (_) Brown (_) White (_) Clairol Color of teeth: (_) Yellow (_) Brownish-Yellow (_) Brown (_) Black (_) N/A Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man How far is your home from a paved road? (_) 1 mile (_) 2 miles (_) just a whoop-and-a-holler (_) road? Taken from http://www.ahajokes.com/north_carolina_jokes.html Edited April 20, 2004 by Rusty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Dumb North Carolina Laws It's against the law to sing off key. Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields. If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married. All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden. A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent. Taken from http://www.ahajokes.com/north_carolina_jokes.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Q: What's the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp? A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish. Q: How many University of Michigan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, but he gets 3 credits. Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase? A: On the University of Michigan campus. That's the last place you would find a football player. Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Michigan weddings? A: To keep the flies off the bride. Q: Why don't University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes? A: Because cats keep covering them up. A University of Michigan fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt." Q: Did you hear about the University of Michigan fan who locked his keys in his car? A: He couldn't get his family out. Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards? A: So they can park in handicap spaces. Two University of Michigan fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first University of Michigan fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first University of Michigan fan asks, "Why not?" The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me." Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus? A: A visitor. Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library? A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours. Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Michigan's football dorm that destroyed 20 books? A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet. Q: Do you know why the University of Michigan football team should change its name to the "Opossums"? A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road. Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Michigan campus? A: The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board. Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT? A: Drool. Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a University of Michigan? A: Six more weeks of bad football. Q: What should you do if you find three University of Michigan fans buried up to their neck in cement? A: Get more cement. General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again." Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies? A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours. Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig? A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do. Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, it's a sophomore course. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dumb Michigan Laws A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office. It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house. You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan. Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony. Clawson There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. Detroit Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited. It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday. Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants. It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food. Grand Haven No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense. Harper Woods It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets. Kalamazoo It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend. Rochester All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police. Soo Smoking while in bed is illegal. Wayland Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day. Taken from http://www.ahajokes.com/michigan_jokes.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rico Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Nice one. I'm from Michigan and I didnt even konw most of those! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 yeah same here, when i found them I thought the same thing, that i had never heard most of those jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akroma Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 That census thing is pretty close to being accurate....... I think ....doh!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiterabbit Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 THE INVASION BEGINS!!!!!! MUSTERING MY FORCES NOW.MANY RABID RABBITS AKA KILLER BUNNYS. BE FORE WARNED REBS WE WILL SHOW NO QUARTER!!!!!!!! HIDE YOUR WOMEN AND CHILDREN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akroma Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 woman and children I thought we needed to hide our goats and sheep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 mmm flight leaves at 6am tomorrow morning which means i need to be to airport at 4am. Going shopping right now then probably to bed so i am actually awake for the first day of craziness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Logan Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Forgot one Rusty.. Whats does a University of Michgan grad say to a University of N. Carlina at Chapel Hill grad.... Welcome to McDonald's, may i take you order? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Logan Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Funnnnnny stuff tho! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 ahh, trying to fall asleep and its not happening this is gonna be a rough flight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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